


Burning Up

by Havepenwillimagine (starchan007)



Series: Temperature Control [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Stony - Freeform, Superhusbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starchan007/pseuds/Havepenwillimagine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, even though he couldn't escape the cold, that one touch seemed to hold more warmth than he could handle</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was freezing. The cold was everywhere, so cold it hurt. Bitter and icy and all around him, surrounding him, filling his mouth, his nose, his lungs, seeping into his very bones. Everything was fading; he couldn’t see, couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything except sit there and let the water surround him. It was over, and even though he knew he was doing the right thing, and that he was saving people, he couldn’t help the fear, the anger that was building up inside of him. Everything he was losing, everything he was giving up. The anger almost scared him more than the ice. He was numb now, but he knew he wasn’t dead. Why wasn’t he dead? Was this his fate? To stay here, trapped in this frigid numbness, alone in the darkness? It would be so much easier to just….let….go…

Steve awoke, trembling and in a panic as he sat up, trying to get his bearings. He stumbled out of bed, his hands quivering, his body covered in gooseflesh, all of the finesse that the serum usually lent gone as he staggered towards the bathroom. He all but yanked the shower door open and turned the water on, turning the knob as far as it would go before fumbling out of his nightclothes. He couldn’t stop the shaking. He was just so cold.

The hero couldn’t help but wince a little as he stepped under the spray. It was hot. It was beyond hot. It was the kind of water that would probably give anyone else mild burns. But Steve just stood there, letting it sluice down his body, trying in vain to chase away the ice that seemed to have imbedded itself deep within him. He could still feel it though. His joints ached with it, and so did his chest. It was fainter now, but still there. It always was these days. Steve knew it was crazy, knew there wasn’t anything really wrong with his body or its temperature. He knew it was all in his head – the serum wouldn’t allow for any actual illness. But that didn’t help any. Most days it was bearable, but some days…some days it got like this. 

After a long while, when his limbs had stopped shaking and his fingers no longer felt numb, Steve turned the water off. He didn’t move though, didn’t get out of the shower, just stood there leaning against the still warm tiles. He knew he couldn’t stay there all day. He had responsibilities. He had a job to do, and the world to face. The world that he was still getting used to in some ways. And it wasn’t just the technology that he struggled with these days. There was more to it than that, the way people interacted, the things that were – or weren’t – meaningful now. That was the hardest part of all this to wrap his head around. People nowadays were always in such a hurry, always so busy getting where they had to go, or doing what they had to do... Like a few weeks ago when he had been at the store and he had tried asking the young woman behind the register about her day, just trying to have a conversation, connect with someone. But she had just given him a blank look, like she didn’t understand why anyone would ask, beyond the customary “Hi how are you?” and a half-hearted response. 

Steve shook his head and finally left the shower. Despite the lingering heat that had remained behind the glass with him, the rest of the bathroom was rather chilly. He grabbed a towel and dried his hair before wrapping it firmly around his waist, determined not to let this get the best of him. While he brushed his teeth and finished his morning routine, he focused on what he was going to do today; normally he went for an early morning jog, but having already showered made the idea less practical. He knew that the water bill in Stark Tower wasn’t exactly a concern, and even if it was, he probably didn’t use as much water as some of the other tenants, but Steve remained of the mindset “waste not, want not”. 

Instead perhaps he would go downtown, maybe to the park where he could sketch if the weather allowed it. Some days the life of a superhero was hectic and action packed, but other days it was like this. It often left Steve feeling something that bordered on discomfort. There was no real housework to be done, he didn’t have a job to go to, didn’t have anyone to provide for really. Unlike Tony or Dr. Banner, he didn’t have any important tests to run or things to experiment on. Nor did he have another realm to govern over like Thor, or any top secret side missions like Clint or Natasha. On days like this, Steve actually felt…useless. More than that, he felt alone. 

Of course he knew that everyone didn’t always have something to do on off days. Sometimes, one or most of them just stayed around the tower, cooking and watching movies and the like. Steve was glad to join in on those occasions. He liked his teammates after all, and got on well with them. Even he and Tony had managed to get over their initial dislike of one another. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate, he guessed. 

Thinking back, he knew that his first impressions of Tony hadn’t been bad because of the man himself, necessarily. Sure, he was spoiled and selfish, but he had turned things around, had been making an effort to do right. Steve couldn’t fault him for that. No, it was that after reading Tony’s files, some part of Steve had gone into that first meeting determined to dislike him. Because Tony wasn’t Howard. Tony was nothing like Howard had been. And Steve had hated that, at first. But the more he dug up about Howard, and the more he learned about Tony, the more he realized just how enormous his error in judgment had been, and which of the two was truly the better man. The Howard Steve had known had been a good man, but something changed him. It left a sinking feeling in his gut when he thought about the fact that he had changed him. But it didn’t matter much now, because Howard was dead and Tony was here, and Tony was Tony and that was that. 

But though Steve’s impressions hadn’t taken much to change, it seemed Tony was going to be another matter. He had thought for the longest time that the entirety of their career was to be awkwardness and suppressed animosity on one or both their parts. But Tony had surprised him again. Tony had actually sought him out to apologize and mend things. Well, sort of. If Steve remembered correctly, he had been the one to do the actual apologizing. But still, that Tony had come to him... It had been the last thing Steve had ever expected. And sure, they weren’t exactly the best of friends now, but…sometimes he thought that maybe they were getting there. He couldn’t deny that he felt a closer connection to Tony than anyone else on the team. 

“Good morning Dr. Banner,” Steve greeted as he walked into the kitchen. Bruce Banner looked up from his plate of scrambled eggs and toast and nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Morning,” he replied after swallowing the food in his mouth. 

Steve went to the refrigerator and pulled out some orange juice, downing a glass before going about making himself some breakfast. He wondered if Tony would wander up for more coffee this morning. He doubted it; he was pretty sure that the inventor had reinstalled a personal coffee maker down there after his break-up with Pepper. Steve also couldn’t help but wonder when the last time the man had eaten or slept… He started cooking, but suddenly he wasn’t cooking for just himself. He pulled out two plates, and filled them both with eggs and toast – his of course had much more food on it than the other. Bruce looked at the plates and then over to Steve, a quizzical look on his face. 

“Oh. I figured I’d go see if Tony wanted any. I haven’t seen him in a while. Someone needs to make sure he eats,” he explained. Bruce gave a sort of chuckle and shook his head, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. 

“I don’t know which is more funny; the thought of a grown man that smart letting himself starve to death, or the idea of you being such a mother hen.” 

Steve wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, which was fine because Bruce excused himself just a moment later. He couldn’t really help it. Never mind that it really was better for the team if everyone kept in good health, it gave him something to do. He carried the plates down to the workshop and stood outside the door while he waited for JARVIS to get Tony’s permission for him to enter. He was sure there was some sort of passcode that would allow him to bypass this particular step, but if there was, Tony hadn’t elected to give it to him. So he waited. Eventually the music stopped and the door slid open, allowing Steve to enter. 

“What’s up Cap?” Tony asked, turning on his seat. He was wearing a grimy white top, and his hands were covered in something greyish black. There was a large smudge of the same substance across his forehead, like he had wiped the back of his hand across it. He was smiling. Steve felt a little hesitant all of a sudden, standing there with two plates of breakfast. He wondered why he hadn’t thought to eat his upstairs. 

“I just figured I hadn’t seen you in a few days and since I was already cooking, I made you some.” He didn’t want to ask Tony if he wanted it, because if Tony refused, he’d feel like the world’s biggest idiot. But he didn’t want to tell Tony to eat it either, because they both knew how that conversation would end. Tony was looking at the plates, as if considering. 

“Uh yeah, sure, why not.” He stood up, stretching and cracking his neck, looking around for a place that was clear enough for Steve to set the plates down. 

“You uh, planning on eating down here too?” he asked. 

“If you don’t mind. Food’s better enjoyed with friends, and all that.” He said, wondering if Tony felt as…well, he didn’t know how to describe it really. Uncomfortable wasn’t the right word. It was just strange, he guessed, sitting down and eating a meal just he and Tony. 

“Sorry it’s such a mess down here.” Tony said as they sat down. One of the robots continued zooming around, trying to pick up it seemed, but making more of a mess in the process. “Dummy, I swear, if you knock anything else over, I’m going to donate you to a high school robotics club.” Tony said, but Steve could see the amusement in his eyes, and something that seemed like affection. But he could’ve imagined that. It wasn’t as if he was an expert on interpreting a person’s facial expressions…especially Tony Stark’s. 

Tony ate quickly and Steve could tell he was anxious to get back to whatever he was working on. 

“Thanks for the food Cap. If you don’t mind though, I’m gonna get going on that again,” he motioned over to the workbench. Steve nodded. 

“That’s fine. You ate. The mother hen in me is satisfied. Do you mind if I stay down here to finish?” he asked. Tony hesitated for a moment, looking at him closely and then shrugged. 

“Why not? Feel free to stick around and watch me break stuff,” Tony joked and turned away, jumping headfirst back into his project.

Steve watched him as he worked, hearing him talk to himself as things sparked or as he looked back and forth between all his different screens. It was important, he could tell that much, not one of Tony’s usual tinkering ventures. Steve was surprised that he had taken a break from it. Pleasantly surprised. The longer he watched, the more he wished he had his sketch pad with him. There was something captivating about watching the genius work and he couldn’t help the part of him that wanted to try and capture that on paper. 

It was a long time before he finally stood up and collected the plates before quietly heading towards the door, not wanting to interrupt Tony any further. He had really…it had been short, and they hadn’t talked much, but something about the whole encounter had been strangely…relaxed. He had enjoyed it. As he walked out of the shop, he didn’t notice Tony pause his work and follow him out the door with his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's finally here! Only about...oh I dunno, 8 months late. But here's the beginning of the sequel to Icing Problem. As I'm sure you can tell, this one is more from Steve's voice, and no you won't have to squint to see the romance this time, I promise. My schedule is a little more cluttered this time around, so I'm going to do my best to update at least every 2 weeks, but I promise that it will update on a (somewhat)regular basis. Thanks for reading, and I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the love I hold for this pairing


	2. Chapter 2

It was evening in Stark Tower, and most of the Avengers were taking a well-deserved break after what had frankly been a disastrous mission. The calculations that Dr. Banner had been looking over for Reed Richards a few weeks back had led to what Richards had called a “minor malfunction” in some sort of machine that was designed to do, well, Steve wasn’t quite sure. But Manhattan had been invaded what had, at first, appeared to be balls of goo. They weren’t very big – only about the size of tennis balls – but that hadn’t been the trouble. No, the trouble had come when they realized that the balls of goo had a nasty habit of sticking to people and weighing them down. If Steve recalled, the point of this was to allow the blobs to begin slowly absorbing the body’s nutrients for one thing or another. Even the Hulk had been in danger of being overwhelmed by the things. Eventually they had come up with a permanent solution that involved dissolving them, but it had been a – and Steve chuckled to himself as he thought of this – sticky situation. It had taken the team hours to remove the remains of the goop from their hair and bodies, never mind their clothes.

It had been particularly messy for Tony and the Iron Man suit, who’s many moving parts had been clogged almost irreparably with the stuff. The inventor had been understandably upset about this, and as such, Steve had expected him to hole himself up down in the workshop and try to fix it, or perhaps start a new one from scratch. But he hadn’t. No, Tony was sitting in the common area with the rest of them, arguing about which movie to watch – a surprisingly difficult task, given that they were all grown adults. But at least they seemed to have finally narrowed it down to two movies. 

“No, no, the rest of you obviously do not comprehend the gravity of this situation,” Tony said, leaning forward in his seat. 

“Forrest Gump is an American staple, and Captain America hasn’t seen it! That’s borderline treason!” He gestured to Steve for emphasis as he spoke. 

“Well if you really want this to be ‘American’,” Clint interjected, using air quotes, “then we should put it to a vote.” 

“Agreed! Let us weigh in the opinions of our fellow teammates,” Thor suggest, his voice as loud as ever. Steve nodded in agreement. 

“All those in favor of Real Steel?” he asked. He, Clint, Natasha, and Thor all raised their hands. “Alright, that’s four out of six, majority wins.” He declared. Tony rolled his eyes but settled himself more deeply into the couch cushions. 

“I just don’t know why you would all want to watch some guy who looks like Wolverine teach a robot to fight,” he grumbled. “You want to watch robots fight, we can have Dummy and U go a few rounds.” 

Steve, being the only one who had heard Tony’s mutterings, couldn’t help but chuckle. Tony heard him and looked in his direction and grinned, looking just a little pleased with himself. It caught Steve a little off guard. Tony’s expressions tended to do that sometimes, especially when he looked like that. Steve couldn’t always get a read on Tony, but when he could, when Tony’s face was really expressing how he felt, and his eyes didn’t have the closed off appearance they so often did in press photos, it always seemed to stun him, for just a split second. 

The movie started and everyone began to settle down, getting comfortable in their seats. The room was dark except for the light of the screen. Despite being tired, Steve stayed awake, even as his teammates dozed off around him. He watched Clint do the head nod a few times, startling himself back awake as his head drooped down to his shoulder or chest. After a while, he realized he was the only one still watching the movie. But he was not, however, the only one left awake. Tony was looking at him. Steve had glanced over and found the man not-quite-staring at him. Steve couldn’t read his eyes, or his face – it was too dark – but he held his gaze. 

In the end, Steve looked away first. 

As soon as Tony’s head turned back to the TV a few seconds later, Steve ventured another look in his direction, but Tony was watching the last few minutes of the movie as if nothing had happened. Steve chose to forget about it, or at least put it out of his mind for the time being, and a short while later he found himself standing and stretching and getting ready to head to his room as Tony went about powering everything down. Their movements seemed to have woken Natasha who stood and nodded in his and Tony’s direction before withdrawing noiselessly from the room. Steve glanced at the rest of his team sprawled out on the various pieces of furniture and shook his head, smiling a little. He knew from experience better than to try and wake most of them up to send them to bed. They’d make their way there eventually. Clint gave a loud snore as Tony stepped a little closer to Steve, surveying them as well. 

“Wow. This crowd really knows how to party,” he said. Steve rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face. 

“As if you wouldn’t be sleeping with the rest of them if you were normal.”

“Right, because they’re all the epitome of normal.” Maybe Steve was imagining it but Tony sounded just a little petulant. 

“You know what I meant Tony.” 

“I know. You meant normal as in eating and sleeping on a regular basis. But come on, then I’d miss out on you mothering me, and what a shame that would be,” Tony teased, nudging Steve’s solid frame his elbow.

“What a shame indeed,” Steve mused, looking at Tony with amusement in his eyes. He was about to open his mouth again to wish Tony a goodnight when suddenly the other man’s hand was brushing over his hair. Steve froze, mouth half open. Tony snatched his hand back and gave a valiant effort to laugh it off. 

“Sorry. Your hair was sticking up. I was having a hard time taking you seriously. Uh, I’m gonna head down to the lab. I want to get started on cleaning up the suit.” And before Steve could even say anything in response, Tony was gone. 

Steve stared after him, unsure of what to make of the encounter. A few minutes later he headed off to his bedroom. It was hard for him to fall asleep that night. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours as the little old fashioned clock on his nightstand ticked away. He couldn’t stop thinking about Tony. It wasn’t as if they had never touched before, they were teammates after all. But that had been different. Tony’s hand on his hair had seemed much more…intimate. And obviously Tony had realized that, judging by his reaction. So why had he done that rather than just saying something? Steve replayed it over and over but he couldn’t work it out. Before he knew it, his alarm clock was going off and he was waking up, curled up tightly beneath the blankets. 

Now, perhaps Steve was imagining it, but it seemed that after that night, Tony started doing his best to avoid him. Of course he couldn’t entirely, but he was always quick to leave the room, to get out of Steve’s sight as quickly as possible. It reminded Steve frustratingly of their early days. But he knew better than to bring the subject up; if he just pretended like nothing had happened, Tony would surely get over it eventually. He hoped. 

But as luck would have it, he didn’t have to wait all that long. Just a week or so later, Steve once again found himself alone in the tower for the evening. Except when he wandered into the living room, he found Tony sitting on the couch with a tablet in his lap and several of the diagrams exploded out in front of him. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white, well, Steve knew they were called ‘wife beaters’, but he’d be lying if he said he understood why, or indeed why the title was appealing for an article of clothing. Steve could see the muscles in his arms flexing as he reached out to rotate and move various parts of the holographic model. Tony seemed unaware of his presence, and for a minute or two, Steve just watched with unbridled fascination as he worked. It was amazing to him how Tony could possibly keep up with so many numbers and pieces and calculations. But he did, and Steve knew he did, because when they needed it, when it was really put to the test, nothing Tony had made for them had ever really let them down… He cleared his throat and Tony looked around, apparently startled. 

“Oh. Hey Cap,” he said, looking at the amount of space he seemed to be taking up on the couch. “Didn’t realize anyone else was around. I’ll head back down to the workshop if you’re planning on watching something.” Steve couldn’t help but wonder how true that was; he was quite certain JARVIS kept tabs on everyone in the building… But Steve didn’t point this out, merely shook his head. 

“No, that’s alright.” He hesitated for a moment and then continued. “Since no one else is around, maybe we could watch that movie you suggested the other night. Forrest Gump, was it?” For split second, Steve thought he saw a flicker of uncertainty on Tony’s face, but the next second Tony was grinning at him. 

“Sure, why not? Cop a squat,” he said, waving all the programs back into the tablet and setting it on the table. “JARVIS, queue up Forrest Gump,” he instructed. 

“Right away sir.” JARVIS’ voice came from somewhere above them and Steve instinctually looked up, even though he knew there was nothing to see. He shook his head a little and took a seat on the large couch a foot or two away from Tony as the movie began to play on the screen. Tony shifted a little and then stood up. 

“I’m gonna go make some popcorn real quick,” he said. 

Steve nodded in acknowledgement and focused on the TV once more. When Tony came back though, Steve couldn’t help but notice that he sat quite a bit closer; their thighs were almost touching. He also couldn’t help but think it was deliberate. But when he glanced at Tony out of the corner of his eye, the inventor was looking at the screen. Steve took his lead and settled into the couch. 

Steve watched the movie with captivation. Sure he had seen a lot of movies since waking up in this time, and a lot of them had had some fantastic special effects. But this one was different to him somehow. Steve had never really struggled with his intelligence – he had always been smart, even before the serum – but he knew what it was like to feel…inadequate, like he didn’t measure up. And yet, Forrest had never really failed, never given up either. The ending was bittersweet but… The credits began to roll as solitary white feather drifted into the sky on screen and neither of them said anything. 

“Well?” Tony finally asked, turning to face him. Steve could see the blue circle of the arc reactor through the thin cotton of his shirt. 

“It was…good,” Steve said. Tony quirked an eyebrow. 

“Oh, only good?” he teased. “No! It was…I really enjoyed it. Thank you Tony,” Steve said sincerely. Something changed in Tony’s expression at this. 

“No problem Cap. Glad you like it.” Silence fell between them again, but now it felt…thick, heavy. Like both of them had something to say but neither was sure what it was. They were still staring at each other. Tony was leaning in towards him….almost like… Steve blinked and Tony was standing. 

“Sorry. I uh. Night St – Cap. Night,” Tony blurted. And once again, Steve was left staring because, what the hell? When did Tony Stark stumble over his words like that? What the hell was going on? Steve was not going to be left in the dark this time. 

“Tony!” he called, catching up to the elevator just before the doors slid closed. Sensing his hand between them, the doors slid open again leaving Tony standing there looking rather bewildered. “What has been going on lately?” he asked, trying not to sound too accusing. He watched as Tony practically transformed in front of him, the lost look on his face being replaced with the confident smile that didn’t meet his eyes. 

“It’s nothing Cap, really. Just been feeling a little under the weather is all. Sorry to worry you or anything, but you know me, I-” 

“Tony. Really?” 

“Yes really. It’s nothing Steve, promise.” Steve stared at him hard for a few seconds longer and then let his arms fall to his sides. 

“Alright Tony, whatever you say,” he muttered reluctantly as he stepped back. The elevator doors slid shut and Steve slid a hand over his face and sighed. Suddenly the doors opened again. 

“Oh. You know what? Breakfast the other day was good. We should do it again. If you want.” 

They slid shut. Open again. 

“Or if you know, you want to just come down to the shop and hang out. You know. If you’re bored. Or whatever. That’d be good too.”

Closed again, and then open once more. 

“That’s all. Goodnight Steve.” 

And with that, Steve finally watched the number about the elevators change, indicating that Tony was indeed moving. He was a little taken aback by what had just happened. He supposed he should stop being surprised at some point, though he wasn’t quite sure what that point might be. But…he felt oddly…warm. And when he climbed under the covers that night, even as he seemed to feel the ice spreading from his fingertips and his toes, part of him could still feel it, the warmth left by Tony’s invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, chapter 2, and in record time! I hope you're all enjoying the story! Um, I may or may not get to the next chapter within my self-imposed 2 week deadline, given that finals are coming up and such. However, I promise to do my best!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, obviously.


	3. Chapter 3

The first time Steve ended up down in the workshop didn’t happen for quite some time. And that had nothing to do with him being a little tentative about it, thank you very much. It was just that lately there had been a lot for Steve to do and he rather relished that fact. But now things were quieting down for the most part and being perhaps a little worried that Tony felt slighted, he decided that he should make it a point to go see him down in the shop. He collected a sketch pad and some pencils and headed down. 

“JARVIS, can you ask Tony to let me in?” he asked as he stood outside the door. 

“I could, but there’s really no need for that Captain Rogers. My programming has been altered to allow you access to the workshop at your request.” 

Steve blinked. 

“Oh,” he said, feeling very taken aback. He had not expected that at all. “Could you let me in then?” he requested almost a little apprehensively. 

“Certainly Captain.” And the door slid open.

The music that Steve had heard faintly through the door was suddenly magnified by what felt like a hundred times. It bordered on painful for him. But suddenly the music dropped to what might be considered an appropriate volume. Tony’s head popped up from behind whatever he was working on and he looked around, evidently startled. 

“JARVIS? Where’s my music?” 

“Apologies Sir. I detected that Captain Rogers was experiencing some discomfort at the volume and adjusted it accordingly.” 

Tony whirled around, his eyes falling on Steve. He grinned, obviously pleased. But Steve could also see that Tony was about as surprised to see him as he had been to find that he had been given complete access to Tony’s sanctuary. 

“Cap! What brings you down here?” he asked. Steve shrugged, giving Tony a glimpse of the pad in his hand. 

“There’s not much to do upstairs. I figured I’d come and take you up on that invitation.” Tony’s smile widened, and Steve could not help feeling a little flattered. 

“Sure, sure. You just gonna sketch then? Because there’s a couch over there or the table over there…it’s a mess again though.”

Steve waved it off.

“It’s fine. I’ll just sit on the couch.” Tony nodded and Steve felt his eyes on him as he walked over to and made himself comfortable on the couch. When he looked back though, Tony had gone back to work. Steve watched him for a moment and then flipped open the sketch pad. 

A blank page stared back at him and he realized he really didn’t know what to draw. He glanced over at Tony, whose form was mostly obscured by the thing he was working on. When Steve finally put pencil to paper, he began sketching other things; the robots Dummy and U, a little doodle of a human JARVIS, a few sketches of teammates from memory, whatever he felt like. In a similar fashion to the breakfast they had eaten together, they didn’t say much while he was there but neither of them seemed bothered by it. Steve certainly wasn’t at least. He couldn’t say why but just being down there, not being alone, hearing the sounds of Tony working and swearing once in a while, and affectionately yelling at his robots brought a sort of comfort to him. 

When Steve checked his watch, he was surprised to find that nearly three hours had passed; it had barely felt like one. Steve waited until Tony stood up to go get another tool before he interrupted. 

“Hey, when’s the last time you ate?” he asked. Tony looked over at him, an eyebrow raised. 

“Why? Going to lecture me on my bad eating habits?” he asked, a smile playing on his lips. Steve rolled his eyes. 

“No, I haven’t eaten in a while, thought I’d ask if you wanted food too.” Steve explained. Tony shrugged. 

“Sure why not? We could get a pizza?” he asked and then glanced over at Steve, eyes moving up and down his solid frame. “Or two.” 

And so they ordered some food and both took seats on the couch in the shop while JARVIS cued up a movie on the screen that lowered from the ceiling. Steve raised an eyebrow when he saw it. Tony shrugged, opened his mouth to explain and then closed it again, and then finally spoke. 

“It’s just…sort of nice to have something playing when I can’t sleep.” He said in a rush, as if hoping Steve wouldn’t catch this small little admittance of what Tony probably considered weakness. But Steve didn’t comment on it, just took a bite of the slice of pizza in his hands. They watched through the movie and then Tony went back to work. Steve went upstairs not long after, still thinking about the newest little bit of inside information he had been given about Tony.

The second time Steve found himself in the workshop, it was not something he had planned or even really considered until he found himself doing it. It had been another week or two, and there had been…something different between them. He didn’t know what though. It wasn’t anything big; shared glances here and there, a renewed sense of worry when they were out in the field…rarely were things awkward between them these days. Their interactions came easier and it was all playful banter and teamwork. Steve was more grateful for that than he knew how to describe. It was a strong thing, and it almost seemed to chase away the cold he had felt for so long.

Almost. 

He had been sleeping better, even though he couldn’t fall asleep without what many would consider an excess of blankets. But he had been sleeping through the nights at least. Except tonight was different. He couldn’t even remember the dream he had been having, what terrifying part of it startled him awake with fingers numb and teeth chattering. But as he lurched out of bed, mind nearly blank with sleep and fright, he found himself tripping not towards the bathroom for his usual remedy, but towards Tony’s workshop. It didn’t occur to him to ask JARVIS if Tony was even still up. Somehow he knew he would be. 

Steve didn’t really remember telling JARVIS to let him in, or making his way clumsily past all of the tables and half assembled equipment. There was just one thing he was looking for. 

“Jesus, Steve!” 

He heard Tony and, a split second later felt rough, calloused, wonderful hands on his biceps, as if supporting him. And in that one second somehow, even though he couldn’t escape the cold, that one touch seemed to hold more warmth than he could handle. He felt himself being led by the wrist over to the couch where he had sat a few days prior, eating pizza and watching movies with the man now guiding him as that warmth slowly spread through his body. He was vaguely aware of apologizing, but Tony ignored it. 

“God, you look like you’re freeing…JARVIS what’s the temperature in here?” he asked. 

“The current room temperature is seventy-two degrees Farenheit, and Captain Roger’s body temperature is consistent with the average temperature in his file,” JARVIS reported, before Tony even had to finish his line of questioning. “Given his past, it is likely that Captain Rogers is experiencing some sort of psychological tra-” 

“Yeah, thanks for that JARVIS!” Tony said, cutting across the AI’s voice. Steve blinked in surprise when a large blanket was draped over his shoulders and wrapped around him. 

“Come on soldier, let’s get you warmed up,” the genius muttered, rubbing Steve’s arms through the blankets, watching him for a moment. 

He must’ve seen something he didn’t like in Steve’s face, because a moment later Tony took a seat next to him, sitting quite close but not speaking. After some time, when Steve was finally able to unclench his hands and relax further into the couch, Tony reached for the remote. It dawned on Steve that Tony intended to sit there and keep him company. He felt a rush of gratitude and emotion and, not knowing any other way to express it, reached out to Tony’s hand which was resting on the inventor’s own knee. He squeezed it gently and then let his hand fall back into his own lap. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tony smile. 

He must’ve fallen asleep again, because the next time he opened his eyes, the lab was dark and he could just see the sky starting to glow through the glass that made up the far wall. He was also surprised to find that he was…still very warm. Barely a trace of cold was anywhere to be found. After a moment, he realized that this fact could quite possibly be attributed to the fact that Tony was still next to him. In fact he was more than just next to him. Steve was abruptly hyperaware of the feeling of Tony’s body curled up next to him, of the weight of Tony’s head on his shoulder and the slight tickle of the man’s dark hair on his cheek, of the feel of Tony’s breath on his collarbone. It set his heart racing and a sudden yearning to put his arms around his teammate – no, his friend – and hold him close as if he were a lover sent Steve reeling. 

A desire to be somewhere else, anywhere else seized him. Why had he even come down here last night? He needed to get out of here and go clear his head. It was difficult, as he gently moved out from beneath Tony and covered him with the blanket in such a manner as not to wake him, to think of this as strategy rather than cowardice. Because Captain America retreated strategically. He did not run away. But as he watched Tony shift on the couch as if subconsciously searching him out, it occurred to him that maybe Steve Rogers did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, just in time for the 2014, I present chapter 3, where we finally see what could be the start of a romantic relationship! I am really really sorry about the amount of time it took me to finish up this chapter, but with finals and the holidays, my writing just went to shit and I didn't want to post something all willy-nilly. Anyhow! Thanks again for sticking with me!


	4. Chapter 4

Steve expected a confrontation. He knew that sooner or later, Tony would demand to know what the hell happened, why Steve had shown up down in the shop in such a state at such an hour. Except he never did. Steve waited, but it never happened. Hours turned into days and after a few weeks went by, he began to accept that he had been mistaken. Which was something of a disappointment, because he knew there were things that needed to be discussed. But somehow Steve could never seem to bring them up.

It didn’t help that Tony had actually been acting as if nothing had happened. 

When they had a moment to themselves here and there, there was no indication that Tony was bothered by anything that had transpired between them. It was as if none of it had happened; the way they had sat so close to each other and shared a private movie night, just the two of them, and how Tony had leaned in ever so slightly, like he was expecting something, or even the way Tony had so gently brushed his fingers through Steve’s hair. And there was especially no mention of the night that Steve had fallen asleep with Tony beside him and woken, feeling better than he had in months, with the inventor curled up against him. It was like all of those things had just been wiped off their timeline. They were as close as they ever had been in the field and with the rest of the group, sure, but those little moments were gone. There had not been many, but that didn’t stop their absence from eating away at Steve. 

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that there were other things that perhaps he had missed. Other occasions when he had felt the heat of Tony’s gaze on him, the almost panic in Tony’s voice whenever Steve was abruptly cut off mid communication in a battle. The way Steve inadvertently always seemed more worried that Tony was alright than anyone else. The realization was not sudden. Not the way it had been in the lab, when he realized what having Tony so close did to him. Steve wasn’t even sure it was realization as much as acceptance. Only a fool would have been able to turn a blind eye to their interactions. But he’d be lying if he said there weren’t other things. What would he even say? What did he even want to say? 

Now that he was faced with the prospect of confronting Tony, the task seemed daunting. Sure, he could admit to himself that his feelings for Tony and the hopes he had for their relationship extended beyond that of mere friendship, but when it came down to it, could he admit that to Tony? Steve was confident and steady in many things, but, as his behavior following the night in the lab had shown, personal matters were not always on that list. And really, how could that be helped? He had lost everything, everyone he was close to, just when it seemed there might be a start. How could he help but feel some trepidation towards the idea of finally starting over? 

And there was also the matter of Tony’s lifestyle. Steve might have found himself in a different period, where being open about your sexuality was more common and people barely batted a lash at the idea of ‘hooking up’, but that did not change the fact that he was still looking for, as he had once put it, ‘the right partner’. Would Tony even go for that? Tony Stark, whose name Steve had read splashed across various tabloid covers from the not so distant past for some sex scandal or another. Tony Stark, who Steve knew perfectly well had only ever had one semi-successful long-term relationship. In the face of all that, it seemed rather hopeless, to hope for such a thing.

But there was no doubt that he was. Because who was constantly occupying Steve’s thoughts lately? Who was it that Steve wondered about when he was lying in bed at night, unable – or unwilling – to sleep? 

Tony.

It was always Tony.

And if he was really, truly honest with himself, there were other reasons he needed this whole thing straightened out once and for all. It was not helping his physical state. The nightmares were the same, but between all the sensations of the ice and cold and the feeling of grief and loss that gripped him so tightly and tore at his insides, there were glimpses of Tony’s face, the feeling of hands on his body – on his chest and arms and between his thighs and warmth spreading through him at the touch. When he woke from these dreams, alone and curled up beneath the blankets – and more often than not, with an embarrassing erection – he felt a stab of loneliness so profound that some nights it was all he could do not to break down. 

Once or twice he had almost been unable to stop himself from simply getting out of bed and going down to the workshop and hoping that he could once again rely on Tony for some form of comfort. But that was a selfish plan and desperate at best. Besides, it would have been more than he could bear to explain to Tony that he was the reason for his raging hard-on and unstable emotional state. 

The best solution Steve could come up with to avoid these issues was to simply sleep less. He slept only when his body required it, when he was so exhausted that he couldn’t even find the energy to dream. The relief to his mind was minimal compared to the toll it took on everything else. Eventually Steve could take it no longer. So one night when he found himself lying awake in bed, unable to bring himself to fall asleep just yet, he sat up. 

“JARVIS? Are you there?” he asked, looking up at the ceiling out of habit. 

“As always Captain. What can I do for you?” the AI’s voice was calm and soothing in its own way, like it always was. Steve hesitated for a second and then continued on with his plan. 

“Is Tony still awake?” he asked.

“Mr. Stark has been awake for the last thirty-five hours and twelve minutes and does not appear to show any inclination towards sleeping in the near future,” JARVIS said and Steve couldn’t help but smile a little at his response. It appeared that, programmed intelligence or not, JARVIS was certainly capable of being annoyed at Tony for not taking proper care of himself. 

“Shall I let him know you’re coming down?” JARVIS asked. 

“Uh, no. No that’s fine,” Steve said rather hastily. If JARVIS could raise his eyebrows, Steve had no doubt he’d be doing it. 

“Very well Captain Rogers.” 

Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Here it was, the moment of truth. Somehow, he couldn’t help but picture an emotional and overly dramatic scene from some sort of soap opera in which they both confessed to each other and only made it as far as the couch before falling into passionate kisses. The thought brought a smile to his face, if nothing else, and it stirred something low in his belly at the thought of where else those kisses might lead. Steve shook his head. No, that was not how he was going to go into this. He wasn’t doing this just because he was lonely and, realistically, more than a little sexually frustrated. The hero pulled on a sweatshirt over the plain white shirt he usually slept in and made his way down to the workshop. He hesitated briefly before trying his code, wondering if perhaps Tony had revoked his invitation. To Steve’s relief however, the door slid open as usual. 

Except it wasn’t usual at all. 

The first thing Steve noticed is that there was a distinct lack of music coming from the shop’s speakers. It set Steve on edge, despite the fact that he saw Tony across the room, working on what looked to be some sort of engine; maybe for a car. He didn’t turn around, but Steve had no doubt Tony knew he was there. He moved a little closer, winding around the various tables and machines. Tony still didn’t turn around. Eventually Steve cleared his throat. When Tony finally turned, what Steve saw there startled him. Tony was smiling, but it was that fake, rehearsed one that Steve had not seen in quite some time. It unnerved him. 

“Hey Cap. You’re up late,” Tony said. 

“I could say the same about you,” Steve replied, with something almost like caution. Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah? Is that why you came down here? To tell me it was bed time?” Tony’s tone was nothing if not friendly, but Steve bristled at the comment. 

“No actually, I came down here because-” 

“I know why you came down here Steve, I’m not an idiot. And listen, it’s no big deal, I get it,” Tony interrupted. Steve’s brow creased in confusion but Tony didn’t stop. 

“I mean, it makes sense. You were wigged out over something which, hey, don’t feel bad or anything, we’ve all been there, and you needed to be around someone and I was the only one up. No big deal,” he said. Steve stared at him, but now that Tony was going it seemed he didn’t have much intention of stopping. 

“I mean, it’s not like I was expecting or hell, even hoping you’d be there when I woke up, because it’s not like I’ve had a thing for you for the last few months. I mean, at first I thought maybe I wasn’t being obvious enough, but that’s just unfair because we both know you’re smarter than that,” he said, and there was a sort of broken, hollow tone to the way he laughed at the end of the sentence that almost caused Steve physical pain. Yet Steve could not think of a single thing to say in response to all of this. He just stood there, gaping at Tony and wondering how all of this could possibly be going so completely wrong. 

When he didn’t immediately respond, Tony seemed to take that as a cue to continue. 

“Like I said Cap, I get it. You’re probably looking for some starry-eyed, wholesome, apple-pie type girl to settle down with anyways and we both know I am none of those things. We’d probably be a train-wreck together, so it’s fine, really. You’re probably doing me a favor. So you can just, you know, stop humoring me or ‘protecting me’ or doing whatever it was you thought you were doing for my own good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of something,” Tony said and turned back to the engine, evidently finished with their ‘conversation’. 

Steve was stunned and more than a little bit hurt. Did Tony really think that’s what he was doing? That Steve was just spending time with him, that he had come to Tony in his most vulnerable moments because he was humoring him? 

“You know Tony, for such a smart guy, you can be really wrong sometimes,” he said quietly. Tony whirled around. 

“Oh and what, you’re always right? Captain America can do no wrong, is that how it is?” he countered. Steve recoiled, stung. 

“You know damn well that’s not true!” 

But despite his raised voice and the part of him that was screaming to argue, he didn’t. Instead he surprised Tony by shaking his head, letting his shoulders slump; the picture of defeat. 

“I didn’t come down here to argue with you Tony, and if that’s all you’ve got your heart set on doing. I won’t bother staying.” 

Tony’s face seemed to fall, as if that hadn’t been what he had been expecting at all. Steve sucked in a breath as if he was about to say something else but just shook his head and ran a hand over his face before exhaling. 

“Goodnight Tony. Sorry to bother you,” he muttered and turned on his heel, feeling worse than he had in a very, very long time as he made his way out of the shop and back up to his bedroom. As the door slid shut behind him, he heard a crash but did not turn around to see what it was. He had a strong suspicion that Tony had thrown something after him.

As much as he hoped otherwise, he could not help feeling that whatever had been budding between them had just been snuffed out, killed before it ever had a chance to grow into something significant. Just like with Peggy. A huge, horrible weight settled over him; anger at Tony for being so unreasonable, anger at himself for not fighting back, for letting Tony believe those stupid, stupid things. Guilt, for not being there when Tony woke up. It was strange, but somehow Steve understood. Because Tony was used to one night stands. In fact, he was used to being the one to get up and walk out in the mornings. Steve knew that, he had seen and heard that for himself.

But this had been different. It hadn’t been sex that Steve had walked away from, it had been trust and dependence on Tony. And that he had just walked away and not even acknowledged it, well, didn’t he know that beneath that confident exterior Tony was every bit as fragile as he was? God he was an idiot. And he didn’t know how to fix this, not this time. And damn it all, as if he needed this on his shoulders on top of every other cross he had to bear! But this, like everything else – like Bucky and Peggy and every innocent person he couldn’t save in time – was a cross of his own making. He had carved it and pieced it together and stacked it upon all the others. So now he would have to carry it. Sometimes Steve worried that one day he wouldn’t be able to handle all of that weight. But that day had not yet arrived because he jumped out of bed the next morning despite having not slept at all, despite each movement seeming painful, despite his fingers being numb and his joints aching with cold. Because the Avengers were needed and, for now at least, that was enough to keep him moving. 

After the battle though, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would have been better if he’d just stayed in bed. It had been a disaster, strategically speaking. There had been almost a total breakdown in communication and Steve knew it stemmed from his and Tony’s argument the previous night – if it could even be called that. They stopped the bad guys, as per usual, and as far as Steve knew there hadn’t been anyone fatally injured after they arrived on the scene. But there had been sloppy, snap decisions made that had put the team in unnecessary danger. After they returned to base to be debriefed, Steve watched Tony brush off medical attention like he always did. He didn’t go after him. Coward, a voice in his head spat. 

And he hated it, because he knew the voice was right.

The team all went their separate ways that night to lick their wounds and recover. There was no team movie or shawarma dinner. Steve took his sketch pad and went up to the roof. He sat alone in the fading light, watching the sun fall behind a city skyline that was familiar and yet alien all at once, sketching it out with a set of pencils that would’ve been near impossible to get ahold of during the war and that were now almost commonplace. He didn’t know how long he was out there, but after a while he stopped sketching, setting the pad aside and just looking out at the city getting lost in thought. And then, somewhere behind him, someone coughed. Steve turned, surprised at the sudden sound and saw Tony standing there looking as uncomfortable and nervous as Steve had ever seen him. 

“JARVIS said you were up here,” he said in an off-hand voice. Steve didn’t respond, head scrambling to find something in case he needed to be on the defensive. Tony looked at a loss for words, a rare thing for him.

“I just…I can’t stop thinking about the other night and what I said and-” he stopped abruptly and looked up to the sky as if hoping some divine being would give him an answer to whatever he was currently struggling with. Steve was still quiet, still wary. He wanted to know why Tony was here.

“Can I just…can I just make a bigger ass of myself and ask you to forget all the stupid shit I said and let me take you on a date?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!! Finally! Oh my goodness, I know it has been...well, much longer than 2 weeks. I'd apologize, buuuut...I'm not really sorry. Things have been very crazy and stressful and school has taken a huge toll on my free time this semester, and school comes before fanfic writing, unfortunately so...I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but here's this one and it's extra long for you so I hope you enjoy! Thanks for sticking with me and feel free to leave constructive criticism where it's needed :)


	5. Chapter 5

Steve was at a loss. A complete and utter loss. Surely he was dreaming, or hallucinating. Perhaps he had taken a hard hit to the head. A very hard hit. But the longer he stood there gaping, the redder Tony’s face seemed to get, and Steve could practically hear him thinking, weighing his options.

“Steve?” he finally asked, and that little note of hesitation was completely out of character and more endearing than Steve would ever care to admit. The idea that Tony was playing him never even crossed his mind; in fact, he was struggling to recall a time he had ever seen Tony look more genuine or, indeed, hopeful. Like he really, truly wanted nothing more than for Steve to agree. Which really, at the moment, was what was throwing Steve off. 

“What exactly did you have in mind?” he asked somewhat tentatively. After all, it was hard to forget Tony’s penchant for over-extravagance when stories of Pepper’s last Christmas present still circulated now and again. Tony gave a noncommittal shrug, a much more Tony-like expression on his face now that he realized Steve was willing to at least entertain his idea. 

“Oh you know, I was thinking something simple. Maybe a trip to Paris to watch the sunset from the Eiffel Tower,” he said with a roguish grin. Steve’s face must’ve given away the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure Tony was kidding because he quickly backtracked. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Really, I meant something simple. How about dinner and a movie?” he suggested. “Or we could do something else. You like Coney Island, right? Or Pepper was going on and on about this new art gallery and she said you might like it,” he suggested. 

And now Steve raised an eyebrow, knowing that totally wasn’t Tony’s style. Tony got bored with galleries very quickly – something that Pepper had complained about to him when they had discussed their tastes in art in the past. He must really want to go on this date if he was offering to suffer through that… 

“Alright, I’ll go,” he agreed, giving a slightly tentative smile. Tony’s face lit up. 

“Really?” he asked and Steve tried not to be too offended by how pleased he sounded.

“Yes, really.” 

“Great! That’s…wow. Yeah, that’s great. How’s tomorrow night? At six? You know, assuming we don’t get called in to save the city from mortal peril,” he said. Steve nodded. 

“Tomorrow would be good. And dinner and a movie would be just fine too,” he decided. There was no need to make Tony suffer any more than he had tonight, he supposed. “

Right. Dinner and a movie it is then,” Tony agreed with a nod and a genuine smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and gave an almost giddy laugh. “Sorry. I still can’t believe you said yes. I’m gonna…I’m gonna go now before I stick my foot in my mouth. Goodnight Steve,” he said. 

“Goodnight Tony,” Steve chuckled, shaking his head as Tony disappeared. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, still not sure how to process everything that had just happened. He was…going on a date with Tony Stark. Tomorrow. 

Just when he had started to accept that everything that could happen between them would never be anything more than a fantasy, Tony had surprised him once again. In truth, Steve didn’t think he’d ever get used to him. But at the same time, he couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy it. Now, all that was left to do was wait until tomorrow night…which didn’t take nearly as long as Steve was expecting it to, despite the little sleep he had gotten. But knowing that he and Tony still had a chance seemed to help some, for though he didn’t sleep much, he slept a little better than he had been. 

He was thankful for the quiet morning though. He didn’t see Tony around, but he didn’t really expect to either. And in truth, he was a little relieved. He didn’t want to admit it but…he couldn’t help but be nervous. Everything they had been slowly moving and fighting towards was about to come to fruition and Steve just couldn’t be sure how it would end. Which isn’t to say he didn’t have any ideas or hopes for how the evening would play out – a few of which left him red in the face and glad that no one else was around. 

He whiled away the hours first in the gym and then by taking a very long, very hot shower and then, much to his chagrin, fretting over what to wear. They were just going to diner and a movie…there was no need to overdo it. But then, Tony always looked so great in his perfectly tailored suits and shirts – except when he was working of course. Then he was something else entirely… 

It was a strange difference, the way Tony seemed to look that much more appealing in a ratty t-shirt and covered in grease. It wasn’t something Steve had ever given much thought too until just now, how good Tony looked down in the workshop, surrounded by all of his inventions and tools. He was reminded again how much of a gift it was to be allowed into that space Tony held so dear.

Eventually – and after much more debate than should’ve been necessary – he settled on a pair of black slacks, a button up and the blazer he usually reserved for public appearances as Steve Rogers rather than Captain America. He assumed he’d be meeting Tony in the common area and was surprised to find the billionaire already waiting, leaning against the counter, tapping away at the tablet that seemed to be an extension of his arm. He looked up when Steve cleared his throat and he smiled, his eyes trailing up and down Steve’s form, leaving the hero feeling oddly self-conscious. 

“Wow Cap, you really pulled out all the stops,” he teased, motioning to Steve’s jacket. Steve felt a rush of heat spread up the back of neck. “Is it too much? I can go grab my other jacket,” he offered. 

“No, not at all. You look good,” Tony complimented, and there was just the slightest purr to his voice that sent the heat from Steve’s neck rushing to other places. 

“You clean up pretty well yourself,” he replied. Tony grinned and set the tablet down, standing up and holding his arms out at his sides. 

“Yeah, not too shabby, huh? Anyways, ready to go?” he asked, to which Steve nodded.

Tony grinned and there was a bit of smugness in it that made Steve just the slightest bit apprehensive. Tony ended up driving them in one of his pricey cars with the top down, which Steve actually enjoyed, even if Tony did drive faster than he should’ve. Neither of them had really thought to pick out a movie in advance; with Steve the option was one he was still getting adjusted to, and Tony didn’t really care. 

Besides, the movie wasn’t the important part. 

Steve hesitated a brief second before getting out of the car. He knew they’d be recognized and for a split second, he wondered what the public’s reaction would be. Iron Man and Captain America out on a date… and then, at Tony’s questioning glance, he realized it didn’t matter. He was here because he wanted to be, because he wanted to try making it work with Tony. A little bit of potentially negative press coverage seemed even more insignificant than usual in the face of that chance. 

Tony bought the tickets, but Steve insisted on buying their drinks. He might’ve been from a different era, but he wasn’t so old-fashioned as to let Tony pay for everything. They eventually settled on a fairly generic, though not completely uninteresting sounding romantic comedy. As the two of them took their seats and settled in, Steve considered for a moment, and then, in a time-tested technique, Steve raised his arms over his head as though stretching and placed his right arm over Tony’s shoulder. In the dim light, Steve saw Tony turn to look at him. 

“Smooth, Steve, real smooth.” Steve just smiled as Tony adjusted to fit better against him. After the movie, as they walked back to the car, Steve and Tony argued light heartedly over the movie. Steve thought it had been both cute and funny, but Tony was much less complimentary of it. 

“All I’m saying that it’s something that’s been done a thousand times before. Did I like it? Sure. Was it as original and witty as it claimed to be? Definitely not,” he said, starting the car. Steve shrugged. 

“To each their own I guess. Anyways, what were you thinking for dinner?” he asked. Now Tony hesitated, and Steve was sure that was a hint of a blush in his cheeks.

“I uh, actually already had something in mind,” he said, just a little evasively. Steve’s suspicions were raised once more. Tony seemed to notice. “Just…trust me, okay?” he asked. And how could Steve say no to that? 

“Alright. I’m sure it’ll be just fine,” Steve said, and Tony pulled out of the parking lot. The longer they drove, the more Steve seemed to recognized where they were going. In fact…it looked an awful lot like the neighborhood where he had grown up. Some of the buildings were different, and it was a lot more run down but…he knew where they were. 

“Tony…” he muttered, but Tony held up a hand. 

“You said you’d trust me, right?” he asked. 

Steve nodded. 

“Okay, close your eyes, alright? I know, I know. Just…do it, okay?” Somewhat hesitantly, Steve obliged and felt Tony turn the corner and the car came to a halt not much longer. As he heard Tony get out of the car, he did the same, making sure to keep his eyes closed as he’d been asked. 

“Okay Tony, can I open them now?” 

“Yeah, go ahead.” Steve dropped his hands from his eyes and blinked. They were standing in front of…a diner. Like the one that had always been here. Like the one he and Bucky had come to so often. Something gripped at his insides and he glanced at Tony, who was smiling like nobody’s business. 

“Come on, it gets better,” he said, grabbing Steve by the hand and pulling him towards the door. Steve wasn’t sure what he expected when they stepped inside, but whatever it was, it wasn’t what he got. It didn’t have the feel of a diner whose sole purpose was to mimic those of an era gone by. There was no credit card machine or computerized system. It just felt…normal. It felt like the diner he had walked into so many times in the past, complete with an (albeit small) wait staff that looked like they had just walked out of a black and white photograph. Steve knew without asking that Tony had done this. He hadn’t just found this place; he had done this, somehow. And he hadn’t changed a thing. Tony, who was constantly improving everything, and who insisted that there was nothing better than technology. Tony, who had snickered at him and made the ring tone on his first cell phone that stupid little jingle and who still rolled his eyes when Steve looked up at the ceiling when talking to JARVIS. Tony had done this, and kept every bit of it the way it had always been, just for him. The feeling in his chest tightened, like it was squeezing at his heart somehow. Tony was looking at him expectantly. 

“Good, huh? I thought that-” Steve cut him off, pulling him close and crashing their lips together in a heated kiss, trying to convey every last bit of emotion inside of him. When he pulled away, Tony stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted. And then slowly, Tony’s face split into a breathtaking smile and it was all Steve could do not to grab him and start the kiss all over again. “You like it then?” he asked and Steve nodded. 

“It’s…perfect,” he said, his voice thick with gratitude. “But how did you..? No, _when_ did you do this?” he asked. Tony nodded his head at the counter. 

“Let’s get some food and I’ll tell you if you want,” he said. Steve agreed and the two sat, looking over the simple menu – all standard diner food – before ordering from the woman working that night. “Okay, well…It started a while ago. I…wanted to ask you out for a…little while, but I wasn’t sure what to do or where to go and then I had this idea. So I…took a little look-see at your files and let me tell you, there are things in those files that I can’t even begin to imagine why S.H.E.I.L.D would find useful. Did you know they have your favorite kind of charcoal pencils listed in there? Crazy, right? But anyways, there was a note about this diner that you used to come to a lot, and I figured that might be a good place to start. Except apparently it had been torn down, and then the building here was just…vacant, you know? Just sitting here! So I bought the property and had Pepper help me a little bit and well, this is the end result. It does pretty good business I hear. But it’s just us for tonight,” he said. And Steve was not imagining that blush in his cheeks. But still, he could not help the exasperation he was currently feeling alongside his pleasure. 

“You know you didn’t have to go through all that trouble to ask me on a date,” he commented lightly. Tony hesitated. 

“Maybe not at first but…Now…” he trailed off with a shrug. Steve was glad their food arrived just then, so he’d have something to do with himself while he processed. Tony had planned this…a good chunk of time ago, or something like this. No wonder he’d been so angry with Steve…but, that was in the past, though it was with a pang of guilt that Steve realized he still had some apologizing to do as well. But perhaps now was not the time. Now was not the time to be discussing his weakness and the reason he had sought Tony out for comfort. Now was time for both of them to enjoy this little victory, the step forward in their relationship. 

“It’s in the past. And you’re right. I should’ve stayed. But,” now it was Steve’s turn to shrug and look abashed. “We’ll have time to talk about that later, right?” he asked, and Tony nodded. Steve couldn’t help the smile on his face. 

They ate and talked and enjoyed themselves, and Steve honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so carefree. Being here with Tony, a constant reminder of the time he was now stuck in, surrounded by the nostalgia of the past should’ve caused a dissonance, should’ve bothered him. But it didn’t. It felt nice, and Steve was continuously being struck by how good Tony looked, how it made Steve feel to see him smile, how pleasantly anxious it made him every time Tony’s hand brushed against him. 

As they neared the end of their meal, Steve found himself wanting to get back to the tower in a hurry. He was grateful, he would always be, for the night Tony had given him. But now he wanted that night to go elsewhere. It didn’t take long for Tony to get the hint. Despite Tony insisting that he didn’t have to, Steve paid and left a generous tip and then practically tugged Tony back to the car. To be fair, Tony didn’t put up much resistance, clearly every bit as eager as Steve to get back. They didn’t even make it back to the car before Steve had to stop and pull Tony against him again, gripping him tightly as the kissed with mouths parted and tongues exploring. Tony broke the kiss with something like a groan that seemed to reverberate down Steve’s spine.

“Okay, that’s it. We need to get back because I’ve had a really, really great evening and all, but I really, really just want you in my bed now,” he said, all honesty and desire. Steve couldn’t think of a single reason to object.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we go. Chapter 5 is up and running! I know, I know, there's an obvious lack of sex but I'll make up for it next chapter haha. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

The drive back was painfully slow and it took all of Steve’s self-control to let Tony get them back safely, which was saying something as Steve had a nearly endless supply of it. The minute the car had been pulled into its designated spot in the garage, they were reaching for each other, as if neither of them could stand the lack of physical contact for a second longer. But it was rushed and sloppy and Steve could feel Tony’s hands on his shirt like he wanted to rip it off. That wasn’t how Steve wanted the night to go, not after all the effort it had taken them to get here. 

“Tony wait,” he said, giving Tony a little shove back into his seat. 

“Come on, you took me out and everything, at least let me take you up to bed,” he said.

Tony looked like he might protest – and Steve could just hear it, “But the bed is so far away!” – but then his eyes glanced around the car and then to Steve and then his brow furrowed and the look in his eyes changed.

“Yes, bed,” he agreed and then leaned in close. 

“Because if this is my chance to finally see what’s underneath all that clothing then I am going to see all of it, spread out on my mattress for me to enjoy,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. 

The words sent a shiver down Steve’s spine and it was with reluctance that he put more space between them as he got out of the car, rather than pulling Tony back towards him. It was fortunate that they managed not to run into anyone else on their way to Tony’s bedroom; Steve was sure that had anyone gotten a look at his or Tony’s faces, they would know exactly what was about to go down. The fact that they kept getting side tracked against walls and doors by passionate kisses was probably something of an indication as well. Steve had never been in Tony’s room before, and had he been there under any other circumstances, he would’ve taken the opportunity to look around. But right now he had eyes only for Tony, who was currently pushing him against the wall and Jesus Christ, Steve didn’t know anyone could kiss like that.

It had started out fierce and rough, but had slowed into something else now. Steve brought his hand up to cup Tony’s cheek, kissing him fervently. When they parted, it was more for Tony’s need for oxygen than anything else. Tony looked up at him, pupils blown wide, cheeks flushed and lips red and raw and, in a gesture that seemed almost uncharacteristically tender, took his hand and led him over to the large bed and then tugged at his shirt. Steve obliged, lifting his arms over his head so that Tony could pull it off. When Steve reached for Tony’s shirt though, it was the first time he saw anything that even hinted at hesitation from the man. 

“I uh don’t-” 

“Off,” Steve demanded, tugging at the shirt again. 

Tony caved, easily, and Steve had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the fact he hadn’t asked. But Steve knew what it was. Tony wasn’t body shy – it was the arc reactor. But Steve didn’t mind. It was keeping Tony alive after all, and Steve couldn’t forget that. The blue light washed over him in the semi-darkness and Steve pulled Tony closer, taking the lead now. He might not have been the most experienced guy on the planet, but he wasn’t an idiot and he knew what he wanted. 

Steve put a hand on both hips and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Tony’s left shoulder, along his collar bone, up the curve of his throat, just below his ear, all the while his hands inching slowly to Tony’s belt buckle. When he felt Steve undoing his belt, Tony – who had been running his hands over every bit of Steve’s skin he could reach, just out of the pleasure of feeling it bare beneath his palms, reached to do the same. In a matter of seconds, both men were completely naked and for the first time, Tony was able to get a good look at Steve – all of him. He was gorgeous… 

“Gorgeous, huh?” Steve asked, an amused light in his eyes and Tony realized he had spoken out loud. He gave a little shrug and a slightly sheepish smirk. 

“What can I say? I call ‘em like I see ‘em,” he said, steering Steve backwards and onto the mattress, reaching up into the nightstand to grab something before making himself comfortable straddling Steve’s hips. 

Lying on his back with Tony above him, looking down at him with a look that was somewhere in between a man admiring a work of art and one who had been starved his whole life of this kind of contact was intoxicating to Steve. He needed more, more of it all, the feel of Tony’s skin on his, the heat of Tony’s body and breath on his neck – he could only imagine how it would feel to be inside of him. But, contrary to his attitude only moment s before, Tony no longer seemed to be in any particular rush. He just kept kissing all over Steve, his shoulders, his collarbone, above his heart, down his chest. 

Once or twice Steve reached down in an attempt to stroke Tony’s cock, but each time his hand was swatted away. It was maddening, but Tony’s actions and the feeling that Tony knew exactly what he was doing and had some sort of plan prevented Steve from taking charge like he so wanted to. When Steve (finally) felt Tony’s hand wrap around his cock, he gasped at the sudden contact, surprised but not at all displeased.  
“God you’re huge,” Tony murmured, sliding his hand up and down Steve’s shaft slowly. Steve bucked his hips a little, wishing Tony would stop teasing him already – they had both waited so long for this, why the hell did Tony want to wait any longer? 

“Can’t wait to have you inside me.” 

That sent a little jolt through Steve’s lower belly and he tore his eyes away from the sight of Tony’s hand wrapped around his length to look up at his face; Tony’s eyes were closed, his head tilted the slightest bit back, exposed and vulnerable and sexier than hell. Tony’s eyes opened and he looked down at Steve, catching him staring. His smile was brilliant and he leaned down, kissing Steve. When he felt Tony’s hand brush against his thigh, he realized with another little jolt of pleasure that Tony had been fingering himself – Steve had just been too wound up to notice. 

“Next time we’ll do things a little differently, but I’ve waited months for this and right now I just want you in me,” Tony said with a huff of a laugh before he kissed Steve again and then leaned back, reaching to the side and grabbing the condom that was next to the bottle of lube Steve had just now noticed. With a deft hand, Tony ripped open the condom – which in reality, probably wasn’t necessary, but that was a conversation for a later date – and rolled it down over Steve’s shaft before rising up on his knees enough to guide Steve inside. Slowly Tony pressed down, getting used to the feeling of being stretched, and fullness that Steve’s length brought. Beneath him, Steve had gone rigid and Tony looked down to see his eyes closed tightly, as his hands gripped the sheets tightly. 

“You still with me here soldier?” Tony asked, his tone teasing but with a hint of worry.

“Just, let me know w-when you’re uh…situated.” 

And all at once, Tony realized. Steve, ever iron-willed and concerned, was making every effort to let Tony adjust without grabbing him or bucking his hips up or moving much at all, like Tony would’ve expected of any other guy. Steve didn’t want to hurt him. Steve wouldn’t hurt him. Tony slid the rest of the way down Steve’s shaft, their thighs pressed together and moved a little, experimentally. Steve gasped and twitched a little beneath him. 

Tony reached and grabbed Steve’s hands, placing them on his hips. Taking it as permission, Steve bucked his hips up, eliciting a groan from the man above him. Tony was tight and hot around him, and it had been a struggle for Steve not to just reach up and begin driving into him like he had so wanted to do. But he couldn’t risk that, couldn’t – and wouldn’t – risk hurting the man he had grown to care for so much. 

“Christ, Tony…you feel so good,” he panted, feeling Tony rising and falling on his knees in time with the motion of Steve’s hips as they moved in a rhythm that created a delicious friction between them. Tony’s head was dropped back once more and there was a seemingly endless stream of muttering pouring from his lips; endearments and pleas for more, to which Steve happily obliged. When Steve reached down to curl his fingers around Tony’s member and stroke it in time with his thrusts, Tony gasped and his muscles clenched around Steve. He leaned forward, hands pressed to Steve’s chest as he held himself up. 

“Sh-shit…Steve…close, I’m close,” he gasped. In response, Steve thrust up harder, driving deep inside Tony and making him cry out. 

“Th-there! Oh god, Steve…again,” he all but whimpered and Steve nearly lost it then and there. 

Barely in control any more, Steve thrust up in a frenzy, all sense of rhythm gone as he buried himself over and over again in the heat that was Tony. With a sudden shout, Tony came over Steve’s abdomen, his muscles clenching vice-like around Steve’s cock, so tight that it sent Steve over the edge and he came, with Tony’s name tumbling from his mouth, over and over, his fingers digging tightly into Tony’s hips. There might be bruising later, and Steve would probably feel guilty about it when he saw them, but all he wanted right now was Tony closer to him. Tony didn’t move for a few more seconds and then he slowly lifted himself up and off of Steve’s still embarrassingly hard length. Steve could feel the man’s thigh’s trembling a little, even as he looked down and chuckled. Steve just covered his face with his hand. 

“Sorry it’s just-”

”I know, I know, genetically enhanced super soldier,” Tony said, rolling onto the bed beside Steve with a lazy smile. 

“Give me a few minutes and we can go for round two,” Tony suggested, but Steve rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaning down to kiss Tony gently before getting up and going into Tony’s bathroom to dispose of the condom and wipe his chest off.

He could feel Tony’s eyes on him the whole way there, and back. When he got back onto the bed, facing Tony, he reached out, just brushing his thumb along Tony’s jaw as Tony closed his eyes, a little surprised that he was enjoying the tender, gentle touches. 

“So…successful date?” he asked, peeking back up at Steve, who smiled earnestly in response. 

“Very successful, I’d say.” 

“Yeah? You um…gonna stay this time?” Tony asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but Steve could hear the vulnerability and just slightest bit of resentment in his voice, and it was like someone had stabbed the little balloon of happiness that was sitting content in his chest. He sat up and sighed. 

“Tony I-” 

“Sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Tony rushed, sitting up as well. But it had already been said and there was no taking it back. 

“No…you had every right. I shouldn’t have left you like that. At the time, it seemed best because I didn’t want to have to explain myself, I didn’t want to tell you why I had shown up like that, that I’d been waking up freezing and in a panic just about since I got here, because how stupid is it that I can’t get over a damn dream? 

And then, jeez, I don’t know, I was there you just stopped what you were doing and you _were taking care of me_. And then I woke up the next morning and you were still there next to me and all I wanted to do was stay there with you and, and hold you and that scared the hell out of me Tony. 

And I wasn’t…thinking about you. I didn’t think you’d take it so personally, I didn’t realize what I’d stepped all over. I thought it would be fine and I could explain it later but then you were just so _angry_ and I get why, I do. But I was just…god, Tony I was so _cold_ and scared and I didn’t know who else I could go to but you and I didn’t expect you to react like that, to do that for me, and just…I’m sorry Tony. I took advantage of you and I’m sorry,” Steve said, looking up at Tony as he finished. And the look in his eyes was so earnest and apologetic that Tony could do nothing but forgive him.

He knew what it was like, he had been there. First after Afghanistan and then again, worse, after New York. It was awfully hypocritical of him to pretend to not understand the difficulty with admitting how hard it was, and how frightening, even if they were just dreams. Tony reached out, and he could feel the tension in Steve’s muscles. Rather than speaking, he leaned forward, kissing Steve’s shoulder and then resting his head there for a moment, thinking of the right words. He couldn’t afford to screw this up. 

“It’s…okay. Really. I know what it’s like…feeling like you have to pretend that everything is alright when it’s really just kind of tearing you up inside,” he muttered. “I still think you shouldn’t have left but I shouldn’t have been such a complete dick about it either. We’re both kind of stupid sometimes,” he said with a quiet laugh against Steve’s skin. 

He felt the tension leave Steve’s body and the man’s shoulders sagged with relief. Neither of them spoke for a moment and then Steve suddenly grabbed Tony, shifting his weight easily and pulling Tony under the covers with him, laying on his back with Tony’s head tucked under his chin and an arm sprawled across his chest, their legs tangled together. 

“JARVIS, lights please,” Steve requested, the warm contented feeling rising again in his chest as he felt the scratch of Tony’s beard as the man made himself comfortable against him. Steve wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head, getting something like a grunt, out of which he was quite sure he heard the word ‘sap’. Steve only chuckled and did it again. 

“I promise I’ll be here when you wake up. Tomorrow and…we’ll see how things go, but maybe for a long time,” Steve murmured. Tony hummed. 

“Yeah? Think you’re gonna be my boyfriend now or something?”

“I certainly hope so,” 

“Well I can think of worse fates.” And Steve just rolled his eyes, because of course Tony always had to have the last word. Happy, and warm, and content, Steve closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. 

Later though, when he and Tony had rolled apart in their sleep and Steve was alone on his side of the bed, the cold began to creep in. Steve rolled onto his side with his arms wrapped around himself, knees tucked up as close to his torso as he could get them, and shivers wracking his whole body. Tony woke and looked over at him. He could see the way Steve had curled in on himself, the pained look on the sleeping hero’s face and he moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s muscular frame and kissing the back of his neck, rubbing gently at his arms.

Deep in his dreams, surrounded by ice and the feeling of isolation and failure, Steve felt a sudden warmth in his chest. It spread slowly from there until he was warm all over, until the heat radiated off him, like the simple touch of Tony’s hands on him was melting not only the ice, but Steve himself. It was like the cold had never existed at all, every trace of it scorched away by the man holding him tightly. It wasn’t the perfect fix, there would still be some nights were not even Tony could make it all disappear, but it was better. It was a start. For the first time in a long time, Steve slept soundly, curled against the man who could frustrate him like no other, who worked so well with him on the field and –usually –off, who made him smile and sometimes throw his hands in the air with exasperation. The man who couldn’t seem to stop working long enough to take care of himself and yet who could set Steve’s blood boiling with lust. The man who chased away the cold, and made Steve feel like he was burning up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, first of all, I would like to apologize to my readers. Yes, I am of the firm belief that school takes priority, but it's been...a very long time since my last update and I know how frustrating that can be. So, I apologize for the very long delay, and send a sincere thanks to any and all of you who came back and finished reading this. 
> 
> PS. The delay might have also been in part due to the fact that this is the first (relatively) graphic scene I've put up on the internet. So hopefully it's believable.


End file.
